Forty years of friendship

It’s rare to hear of friendships that span decades, countless jobs, family additions and international moves. But not at UNE. We often celebrate the lifelong bonds cemented at our residential colleges.

Still, it was fantastic to recently welcome back four women who met at Mary White College in the early 1980s.

Originally hailing from Sydney, Singapore and Malaysia, they were mostly young, studying a Bachelor of Financial Administration (BFA) and living away from home for the first time when they arrived.

“I was only 18 and very much a child leaving Malaysia,” said Audrey Danasamy, who now lives in Melbourne. “At Armidale, I became an adult, and it set the tone for my life. The people I met were wonderful and living at college was the true, immersive experience.”

Fellow BFA student Lily Lay, from Sydney, said the four women “just clicked”.

“We became inseparable and would have breakfast, lunch and dinner together,” Lily said. “College life was good fun, and we enjoyed taking part in dancing performances at college international nights. Being at a smaller university allowed close friendships to form and we regularly holidayed together during semester breaks.”

Also studying for a BFA was Chithra Subramaniam. Like Audrey, she was 18 and had completed her Australian matriculations in Malaysia.

“I came from a conservative family and Australia offered me such freedom, living on my own for the first time,” Chithra said. “Our friendship started at a barbecue at Mary White and grew from there. We have kept in touch for 40 years and have been fortunate to travel together overseas and to visit each other’s families.

“Audrey and I returned to Malaysia after graduation and worked together for a while at Ernst and Young. We would regularly catch up, sometimes also with a few of the men who did the BFA and lived at Austin College. Working for Australian-based companies, Audrey and I made trips to Australia for 20 years and would always try to meet up with Lily in Sydney.”

Vijaya Mathivanan was 25 when she arrived from Singapore to undertake a Bachelor of Arts degree at UNE, at a time when her country’s Ministry of Education was eager to employ more graduate teachers.

“Someone had to keep an eye on these girls,” she said with a laugh. “I had a good friend already studying at UNE who had told me there were more cattle than humans and the landscape was so green. It was my first time travelling to a western nation and I liked the idea of living in a country town.

“We just all got along well and while study was important, other things like relationships were important, too, and getting to travel and share our hobbies.”

After revisiting Dixson Library and Mary White College, the women met with Vice-Chancellor Professor Chris Moran and toured UNE’s Armidale campus. Within days they were enjoying a cruise together, with three other former UNE students.

“This was my first trip back in 40 years and I was excited to reminisce about what we did back then,” Chithra said. “It was fantastic to be where we all started out – the place that has given us the foundation for the lives we have today.”

Learnings from her Bachelor of Arts have served Vijaya well throughout her life.

“But our special friendships are perhaps the most precious thing I came away with from UNE,” she said.