When UNE Senior Lecturer in Law, Julia Day, was struggling with a change in her personal circumstances she confided in a few trusted work colleagues, took leave and focused on self-care.
"Sometimes you can't hide what's going on in your personal life, and in those situations it's best to admit when you are not coping and seek help at work," says Julia. "There is often an attitude that you have to be professional at all times; that you can't be human. People are generally scared to be too open, and women, especially, may fear that they will be seen as overly emotional. But we can under-estimate how supportive a workplace and the people in it can be."
In fact, a willingness to show vulnerability can improve work relationships and productivity, according to Julia.
"The more open and honest you are with people, the closer you get to them, and that can lead to some very authentic collaboration," she says. "It has helped me to better connect with my students and to help them to connect with the material I teach. When you share, both parties can grow from the experience.
And if you feel like your employer, your work community is supporting you, you want to do a good job for them. You are happy to work above and beyond."
When faced with her personal challenges, Julia trusted her instincts. "I took two weeks' leave to hide away and get through the initial grief, then I committed to focusing on self-care," she said.
Now Julia does Zumba classes, visits the gym, has regular massages, and makes a concerted effort to spend more time with the people who matter most to her.
"By putting myself first, if only for a few hours a month, I'm saying that my needs matter," she says. "If I am physically fit and strong, I feel I can cope with anything. I prioritise the joyful things in my life and I have also tried to remove guilt from my thinking. I have never had as many good friends as I do now and a lot of them are employed at UNE. Honesty has enhanced those friendships."
Fellow lecturer Bronwen Jackman knows all too well the value of work friendships and support in times of trouble. When she nursed her dying husband two years ago, she had to rely on colleagues to shoulder her workload. "Seamlessly, without me even having to ask, a close colleague just stepped in," she says. "I was very fortunate and am eternally grateful, and she wasn't the only one. We can sometimes feel we don't want to let out work mates down, and struggle through personal crises without telling anyone, but that's rarely in our best interests.
"We are all human. If you are upfront about personal issues at work, then you can feel the warmth and love of others. It also gives them permission to be human, too."
