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ASO Discussion

Questions about: Sentence problems (grammar, spelling & punctuation)

Subject: Run-on sentences/unclear writing

2116. Georgie Smith (student) (Thu, Oct 18, 2007, 14:04)
I just got my law essay back from the lecturer. My marks were way below what I expected. My lecturer said that my essay showed that I had done some good research and had some solid reasoned arguments. She commented that my essay was very difficult to understand (not logical to read) because I didn't understand how to use full stops and commas correctly. The comment 'unclear writing' was everywhere! Here is a short sample of an underlined passage from my essay.

… However the standard at which the law will set the duty is not clear, as either of the two possible standards of care is applicable to this situation, then one is that of a reasonable driver unaffected by alcohol, and the other is the standard of the intoxicated driver.

2117. Peter Blaxland (student) (Fri, Oct 19, 2007, 18.00)
Georgie, I received a similar comment from my lecturer. I can't work out how to make my problem any better either. I'm looking forward to hearing what the online adviser has to tell you.

2118. Julie Godwin (ASO Online Adviser) (Mon, Oct 22, 2007, 10:18)
Georgie (and Peter), it appears that you are doing what so many students tend to do - you let your sentences run on from one idea to the next. Try to keep your sentences at the length of one to two lines. When you feel a comma coming up ask yourself if it should be a full stop.

The example sentence contains 4 ideas and would be better written:

… However, the standard at which the law will set the duty is not clear. Either of the two possible standards of care is applicable to this situation. One is that of a reasonable driver unaffected by alcohol. The other is the standard of the intoxicated driver.
(Sample taken from Morris et al., 1996 Laying Down the Law, Butterworths, Sydney, p 331.)

Of course, when you are writing for law subjects CLARITY is of utmost importance. Using short clear sentences helps the reader to understand what you have to say! This applies to most academic writing. Remember that the marker has to understand your discussion points. If you don't pick up on your run-on sentences when you are writing then be aware of CLARITY when you are at the EDITING and PROOF READING stages of your essay writing.

To clarify the correct use of full stops and commas, I suggest you go to the ASO Handouts.
Click on 'Writing sentences'.
The following ASO Handouts would be most useful for your problem:
Sentences
Sentence fragments
Run-on sentences
Using commas.

If you would prefer to work on exercises online then these two sites are really helpful:

The OWL at Purdue
Click on Grammar and Mechanics in the right hand index and work through Sentence clarity, Sentence fragments and Sentence punctuation.

UniLearning
Click on Writing sentences, then Sentence errors and choose Run-on sentences.

Hope this helps.

Julie