Consensual Sex

Some students are under the seriously mistaken belief that coming to university means that sex and beer are "available on tap". Wrong! Sex is not there for the taking. Sex, whether in a casual encounter or within an ongoing relationship, is something to be negotiated and freely consented to by all parties. Sex without consent is a very serious crime. Sexual assault is a violation of a person's body, their sense of self, their sense of safety, their right to choose.

Think about any general situation where you have given your free consent for something to happen. You most likely wanted to know what you would be consenting to. You may have needed or wanted time to think about your decision. You hopefully said YES without any coercion, pressure or duress. You may have needed to know that you could change your mind without reprisals. When negotiating sex, aim for a clear understanding that you and the other person(s) are comfortable with what is happening. "The way they flirted told me they wanted it!" or "They didn't say no" are not good enough indicators. Don't try to read the other person's mind or assume that they want what you want. Check out what the other person is thinking or feeling. This is part of building up trust and mutual pleasure and respect.

Look at the following video to discover that seeking sexual consent involves similar steps to asking if someone would like a cup of TEA.

Check out our tip sheet on Safe and Smarter Sex.

The following flowchart developed by the UNE Women's Society gives clear indicators as to when consent has been obtained. Have I Obtained Consent?